Lullaby The Fathers

P.S. The Water is Warm!

By Karyn Grant 

Recently, my twenty-four year old daughter, stopped in for a mother-daughter visit.  “Mom, isn’t this the guy you grew up with?”  She was holding a ripped out page from the “Daily News”, BYU’s newspaper.  There was Atheltic Director of BYU, Tom Holmoe’s smiling countenance gazing back at me, witnessing that he had recently been the devotional speaker to thousands of college students at the Mariott Center at BYU..  “Mom, weren’t you guys friends growing up?”  I smiled as I began reminsicing about the day I met Tom Holmoe.

It was the year, 1974, when I moved to Southern California, to La Crescenta.  I was fourteen years old, when my father retired from the military, as a Naval Commander. He had applied for “Captain” but had received word that he had been offered a job as a purchasing director for a school in Southern California and so, not knowing if he would receive the new rank, he decided to accept the job.  Later, he learned that he would have made Captain and he would have received orders and a transfer to some other place. 

Because the navy had transferred my father so many times in my growing up years,  I was accustomed to moving and having to make new friends just about every year, so I entered Rosemont Junior High School, bubbly, happy and ready and raring to begin making new friends once again.

I’ll never forget my first day of school, that October. As I walked into Mrs. Krosby’s eighth grade journalism class.  There was an empty desk waiting for me beside a tall, blonde haired guy who had an award-winning smile.  Because the school year had already started, I was entering, late into the game, but he made me feel completely comfortable and accepted in my new school.

Undaunted, with spirits high, I decided that the guy who sat directly in front of me, who I later found out was Pat Nemechek, and the guy to my left, Tom Holmoe, would be my first new friends.  I loved them both instantly as they were the kindest guys I’d ever met!

I learned from observation, that Tom Holmoe ,the tall blonde, and Pat, the tall dark haired guy, were the best of friends.  I never did feel like the “new girl” because of  how instantly they made me feel accepted simply, by making me laugh…I loved to laugh and they were both so much fun to be around!

Soon, Pat Nemechek, “Captain Nemo” and I developed a sweet friendship and we became fast friends.  Tom, on the other hand, was someone that I adoringly looked up to always sensing the nobility of his soul and the greatness of his spirit.  I wished that he had been my brother—as he was the kind of person you instantly love and want to know forever.

“These two would make the best Mormons!”  I would tell myself every time I sat next to them in English.  Tom was kind and gentle and had a winning smile that attracted every kid in the entire Junior High to him.  Pat, was hilarious—and for this reason, I loved them both dearly.  Although, they never may have known it, they were my favorites all throughout junior high and high school…

As the days, months, springs, summers and autumns, went by, Pat and I stayed closer than Tom and I.  But, I always loved remembering those summer nights when we would get together and play “night games” on Tom’s street, with other kids in the neighborhood and some of the kids from school.   It was like having two big brothers that you look up to… you just wish they would take you fishing…but…eventually…I drifted away from their circle of friends, but never forgot their impact upon my life.

Deep down inside, I always knew and believed, as the years passed by,  that Tom Holmoe and Pat Nemechek would grow up to be wonderful, successful men who would make great contributions to the world.

I often remembered that year in Journalism, when I would smile at Tom and say, “Hey, Tom, never forget…the water is warm!”  I am sure he didn’t know what I meant by that, but I never stopped saying it.  He would laugh and say, “You make me toss…and turn!” (probably because I continued pestering him with my unexplained urgency to see him join  the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.”  Sometimes, I would get up a little extra courage and say, “Tom, you would make the best Mormon!”

But…not wanting to appear too pushy, I tried to make it a non-invasive little joke… by leaving it at, “The water is warm!” with a smile to always punctuate my sentence with a slight hint of enthusiasm.

The years went by, we all went to High School together, and I found out what it was like to not move every year.  I attended grades 8-12 with these guys, keeping my eye on them, like a little shepherdess, always hoping and wishing that they would one day come to gain a witness for themselves of the divinity of Christ’s mission, his atonement and his pure love for them.

I distanced myself from the group when Pat and I broke up in the tenth grade and turned my attention to writing.  I won a scholarship in my junior year of high school for writing an award winning story that was published in Guideposts Magazine.  Ironically, Pat and I were in that English class together and every day, the office would deliver a stack of mail to me, written to me by appreciative prisoners all over the nation that had read my story, “The Dawning”.

My heart had been broken when Pat and I broke up and life wasn’t the same for me at high school, so I graduated early and left for BYU, never really “looking back”.  I moved forward and eventually got married and continued writing music and singing the songs of my heart, to the Savior.

After I graduated and left for BYU in January of 1978, I learned that months later, Tom had been recruited by BYU to come and play football for them the following semester.  I was thrilled and whispered to myself, with a little smile, “Tom, the water is still warm!”

Years passed and I made a career of being a singer, a songwriter, a writer and above all, a mother to four beautiful children.  Life had had it’s challenges for me though, and I  experienced a few defeats and setbacks in my own life…divorce knocked on my door a few times.  But, I never lost my enthusiasm for the Gospel and continued singing my songs that I had begun writing at age fifteen.

One day, in 2005, I received a phone call as I sat writing at my computer.  To my amazement, it was Tom Holmoe!  “Karyn!?” he said laughing, “you lied!  The water was not warm!  It was freezing!” Tom proceeded to share with me how he had joined the church a few years back and had been baptized in a font on BYU campus.  But, the hot water was not working that day and much to his surprise, the water had been freezing!

“I called to tell you that I joined the church because I thought you would want to know!” he kindly shared and then added, “My oldest son leaves on his mission for Switzerland in a little while!”

Thirty-something years had passed since I had really talked to, seen or heard from Tom Holmoe.  I cannot describe the joy I felt when he called to personally share his “good news” with me, a Mormon girl, who sat next to him in eighth grade journalism class.

Recently, I was invited to begin speaking and singing the songs I have written about the atonement and the pure love of Christ, to the prisoners at the Point of the Mountain.  Immediately, I thought of my other dear friend, Pat Nemechek, who had seen the letters coming in droves to my desk, from all the prisoners who wrote me “thank you” letters and which had been delivered during our 11^th grade English Class with Mrs. Johnson.  My heart turned to Pat and I decided to find him.

I reached his phone at the HIV Clinic in Kansas City, where he has become a renowned doctor and specialist in the research and development of curing HIV.  I called him and said—“Pat, do you remember me?  Hey, it’s Tom Holmoe’s Birthday on March 7 and I just thought you might like to know that he is doing great in his career as Athletics Director at BYU!”

As we talked, joy welled up in my soul.  The relationships that we have made and set aside in our pasts will one day be reawakened.  One day, we will reunite with friends and family on the other side of the veil and witness of our life’s journeys; our successes, our defeats, our winnings and our losings and we will stand side by side and weep tears of joy and tears of compassion for the lives that we have led.

I honor these two great men, who touched my life, as a fourteen year old girl—for the great contributions they have made to the world.  I knew, from the moment I first met them that they were both “winners”!  I knew that they both would “grow up” to be wonderful men with successful careers, making great contributions to the world.

It never ceases to amaze me that the Lord can put us “in the right place; at the right time” so that we can rejoice in one another’s accomplishments throughout our mortal journeys!  I am so thankful, that no matter how many years pass by, we can look up those who were once near and dear to our hearts—and congratulate them for their successes and continue to bless them on their way!

Each soul we meet has great potential.  C.S. Lewis once said, “if the veil were rent from our eyes, we would find ourselves kneeling at one another’s feet and worshipping the son or daughter of God before us.”

May we look upon the heart of every soul we every meet—and may we honor the greatness of one another.  Then, when way leads on to way, as life separates our trails, when we meet up once again, may we rejoice and celebrate together the victories we have made over trials and tribulations that we have encountered along life’s path.  I wish I could encourage the young as well as the old, to be kind and loving to all you meet, as you may never know the greatness or the worth or the hidden potential of the person sitting next you in one of your earth-life classes.  How grateful I am for the kindness of these two men—who as young boys, treated me like a princess when I was just a young girl of fourteen.

I thank the Lord for introducing me to two of his wonderful sons when they were in their early youth.  How grateful I was to hear recently, over thirty years later, of their successes in life, of their contributions to mankind, and for their perseverance in making a difference in the lives of many.  I know that both of these men have experienced trials along the way, but both have risen above it and are continually working towards achieving excellence in their fields of service to mankind. 

Thank you, Tom Holmoe and Pat Nemechek for blessing the life of a fourteen year old—for making me laugh, for setting an example of excellence that I recognized early on and for sharing your joys and successes with so many.  I wish to send you a “thank you”, thirty-something years later, for sharing a place in your heart along the path with me—in this journey called, “Life”.  I send you both love, joy and happiness… thirty-something years later.  It’s never to late…to say, “thank you!”